How to Write an Obituary
7 Tips for Simplifying a Potentially Daunting Task
A memorable obituary honors a person’s life and evokes a sense of connection to the person from those left behind. A tribute that is well written captures the essence of the person and leave a lasting memory for loved ones.
At Be a Tree Cremation, we know that writing can feel overwhelming for some people and at a time where you are probably already flooded with emotion, we want to make this process as simple as possible for you. We’ve put together a few short exercises to get your creativity flowing and help you create a beautiful tribute.
1. Identify character traits
Make a list of about 3-5 words you feel describe this person. Where in his or her life was that trait exemplified? (Try using a different area of life, like career, home, social, etc. for each trait. Some may overlap.) Stitch the two together.
Example: Carol was thoughtful. This was exemplified when she went out of her way to encourage coworkers at the hospital that employed her for nearly 30 years. You can stitch these together by saying,"Carol's thoughtful nature touched countless lives, not just those of her patients but of her coworkers and friends too."
2. Zoom-in on seasons of life
Make a list of about 3-5 significant chapters or seasons of their life.
What passion or interest marked those chapters?
You will want to include, and likely start with, where they were born or grew up. What did they enjoy as a child? ...a certain sport? Music? Art?
Can you use that as a thread to segue to another significant chapter in their life? For example, did a favorite subject turn into a career? Did his lawn mowing business as a teenager teach him business principles that he later used as an adult to launch a company?
Example: Carol grew up in Clarksville, Tennessee, where she never missed an appearance in any of Clarksville High School's musicals. Her love of music led her to Belmont University to study music education, but her more practical roots and caring nature led her to switch to a nursing major.
3. Mention significant people
Within statements about seasons of life is a great place to mention people like spouses, children and grandchildren. We often see significant people mentioned in a list of survivors, but penning these people into the story of one’s life makes it much more touching.
Traditionally survivors are listed with spouse first, followed by children in birth order, and if applicable, grandchildren, great-grandchildren; then also, if applicable, parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, in-laws, nephews or nieces. It’s traditional for the city in which these survivors live to also be listed, along with spouses in parenthesis. However, it’s important to remember that it’s up to the grieving family to determine how long the list of survivors should be and whether their city of residence is relevant. A good rule of thumb is to include the people closest to the person who passed… and yes, it is totally okay to include a significant pet.
Example: Carol is survived by her loving husband, Tom Ellsworth; daughter, Ginny Ellsworth McCord and son, Paul (Clemen) Ellsworth of Franklin; and grandsons, Pablo and IsaÍ Ellsworth. Carol's parents, Frank and Mary Virginia McGregor of Clarksville; sister, Julie (Marc) Severance of Franklin and brother, Wade (Mary Lee) McGregor of Brentwood, also survive her.
4. Put the three together
On a new page or sheet of paper, plug in the character traits with the correlating life chapter, or if they're not the same, plug them in chronologically. With several captivating sentences on the page, you can begin weaving them together to create a warm and touching tribute. A great obituary does not have to be long. A few meaningful sentences can have a great impact.
Example:
Carol McGregor Ellsworth put up a tough fight with a rare bone marrow cancer, and went home to be with her Savior on June 2, 2014.
She is survived by her loving husband, Tom Ellsworth; daughter, Ginny Ellsworth McCord and son, Paul (Clemen) Ellsworth of Franklin; and grandsons, Pablo and IsaÍ Ellsworth. Carol's parents, Frank and Mary Virginia McGregor of Clarksville; sister, Julie (Marc) Severance of Franklin and brother, Wade (Mary Lee) McGregor of Brentwood, also survive her.
Carol grew up in Clarksville, Tennessee, where she never missed an appearance in any of Clarksville High School's musicals. Her love of music led her to Belmont University to study music education, but her more practical roots and caring nature led her to switch to a nursing major.
Carol's thoughtful nature touched countless lives, not just those of the patients she cared for but of her coworkers and friends too. Most of her professional career was devoted to Cardiac Rehab nursing at St. Thomas Hospital where she developed friendships with her patients, speaking to their spirits and reaching their hearts. Although she worked full time, Carol was extraordinarily devoted to her children, fostering their character and values.
Carol was known for her sweet and gentle spirit, whether in the friendships that she made, or in her nursing career, or teaching a Sunday School class. She was a woman of great faith and it has been said by her friends that she was "glowing Jesus" for years. Carol loved well and she was well-loved.
To honor and celebrate Carol's life, Pastors David Filson and Todd Teller will conduct a service at 10 a.m. on Thursday, June 5th at Christ Presbyterian Church (2323 Old Hickory Blvd). The family will receive friends from 5 - 8 p.m. on Wednesday, June 4th at the church. A private Interment will be held at Harpeth Hills Memory Gardens. Memorial contributions may be made to http://www.bethematchfoundation.org/goto/carol.
5. Include service information
Even if they are unable to attend (or it is a small private service), people want to know how this loved one will be honored. They may want to send flowers, a card, or make a contribution. In my experience, there are often people who you may have never heard of, but whose lives were touched by your loved one and they want to offer condolences.
6. Walk away and come back later
When time is of the essence and we are already overwhelmed, it’s easy to want to power through this task to get it over with. Over and over, we’ve seen that if you put what you’ve stitched together down and come back to it later, you’ll be able to revise it into something you feel great about.
7. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
We are here to help! Whether you want a member of our team to give you a quick opinion or you would prefer to work with our professional writer, we are here to support you. Our in-house obituary writing services include an interview for us to learn about your loved one, and a specially crafted obituary for you to use as you’d like, and placement in our online tributes.